Its about making memories worth repressing
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
