I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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