When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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