My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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