dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
