I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
