I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
