I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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