We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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