Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
