I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize