My sheets look like a crime scene.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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