she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
