I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
