Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
