everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
