Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
