Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
