): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
