Me. At least after what I've been through.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize