I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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