I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
