Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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(908): View more from New Jersey

new low.... made out with someone while peeing

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(317): View more from Indiana

All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.

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(309): View more from Illinois

so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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(410): View more from Maryland

it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.

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(925): View more from California

He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?

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