Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
