he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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