he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
