i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
