Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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