How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
