You're so nebulous sometimes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
