What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm really busy with my period
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