I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
