So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize