I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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