You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
