It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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