so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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