how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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