Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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