even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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