I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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