Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
