i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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