your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize