its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
