so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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