dude i'm inner monologue high
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
