Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize