Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
