The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
