who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
