a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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