so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
