I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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