My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
