I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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