Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
