My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize