She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
