I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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