i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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