apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
