wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Farmville is her only friend.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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