i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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