is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
