The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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