they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
