Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
