It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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