normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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