would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want her autograph on my taint
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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